me:
*casually riding my bike through the woods*
some dumb fuck hiding in the trees:
*starts shooting at me*
me:
good thing i came prepared *whips out pistol and shoots him in the face without slowing down the bike*
“You’ve changed. The old you would have ended it with one shot to the back of my head. I don’t suppose a certain someone planted feelings in the black lizard’s heart?”
